But she didn't want to be the center of the public spotlight. She was always so happy to be seen, even when nobody knew or saw what she was up to. And after graduating from college and joining the military, she didn't have much left. All of a sudden I was looking for a role, she says. It would take her all-time. I went to three places: Army service and Military service. After that, I was just curious. I knew I wanted to work really hard. I wanted to take it a lot of different directions and find a way to have fun. Even as she worked steadily to break into women's porn, she didn't want to miss out on something she had been doing forever. You learn a lot from someone you love. At the same time, you grow as a person. You learn a lot from someone and make an effort to make sure people see you as the person who does what they're doing, she says. It's what spurred her to write for Jezebel last January. The two of them grew so close that the last time I visited a group of American women in the summer of 2007, they both showed me their photographs, and I couldn't tell them apart from their lives in the military. They were in different positions in different branches.